There was a year in my life when I spent almost every day with a young woman in a relationship which could best be described as more than friendship and less than romantic. From my end we were practically dating and from her end we were the best of friends. It was a convoluted mess with an unhappy outcome for all parties involved.
Some might ask the question, and rightfully so, how could I waste so much time on a girl who had no interest in a romantic relationship? I might ask the same question of girls that I dated to whom I had no intention of ever making any kind of commitment. There were many relationships in which I was the friend “leading on” a woman who longed for something more than friendship. Why do we do this to each other???
I thank God He has chosen to make us such emotional, and if I might add, hormonal creatures. Life would be boring if we were less than the sum of who God has made us to be. But those same emotions, coupled with hormones, can lead us to make a lot of poor choices in life.
I led girls on and was led on by girls for one simple reason; we were all trying to fulfill relational needs in improper ways. We were using another human being to mop up a God given need in an UN-Godly kind of way. The result, as with any sin, was pain for everyone involved. There has been a movie and a book made with the title, “He’s Just Not That Into You” and both sum up a harsh truth most have faced at one time or another in our relational history.
IS HE OR SHE REALLY INTO ME???
I could make a list of how to know whether a person is “into you” but there exists a lot of those and I see little need for a another one. What I will offer is a word of advice which might help you to definitively know the answer you seek. Step back away from the relationship and see what happens next.
That’s it? That’s all you have to say? Yes that’s about it. Just…step…away…and watch what happens next. We tend to value those things in life which cost us something.Whether you believe it about yourself or not you are valuable. So, its high time you recognize your value and demand the same from those around you as well.
If you are making yourself continuously available to someone who is using you to mop up emotional needs while they wait on someone more to their liking then STOP IT! Pull away, stop returning texts so quickly, stop answering your phone every time he or she calls, stop coming over every time asked. Start dating someone else…or at least let him or her know you are looking for someone else!
YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION
No one deserves your undivided attention, time and devotion until they are ready to commit to you. Once your noncommittal friend knows you will no longer give such attention, you will quickly find out whether there exists a spark to kindle a genuine relationship. And if there is no spark you are much better off knowing right now rather than a year from now.
Just step away and you will know the answer as to whether he or she is really into you. I promise this will work. Its what my wife had to do to me and I am almost 7 years married with 2 kids. Sometimes, the answer is the one you want to hear.
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