Sometime after our wedding day my wife and I found ourselves in a discussion over issues of weight and body image. We discussed the usual stereotypes and unrelenting pressure so many of us feel to look a “certain” way. Somewhere in the middle of our conversation I told her, “Men are more attracted to symmetry and a woman comfortable in her own skin than a certain size or body type.” She responded with the skepticism of a woman who has lived in a culture which places women under constant pressure to attain nothing short of physical perfection. But ladies…hear me out on this one!
Men would rather spend time with a woman who has good hygiene, dresses well and paints her nails than a girl of any body type who won’t brush her hair. Men would rather be with a woman who is confident, easy to talk to and kind than spend one date with a cold hearted, hateful woman whom some consider to have a “perfect” body and beautiful face. You see, for all but the real “pigs” among us, beauty is much more than the tale of the measuring tape or number on a scale. And who wants to date or marry a pig anyway???
Pop culture is determined to impress upon women the absolute necessity to be a specific size and look a certain way in order to be considered beautiful. But, I ask you, how many women have actually considered whether the common, regular, guy on the street, demands the same??? You see it isn’t perfection most men seek but a woman confident enough to care for the body God gave her and be beautiful in it.
At this point I should note that there are men, a lot of men, who are attracted to very petite, thin women. But, there are men attracted to every specific body type. Just because some men are attracted to petite women doesn’t mean they, along with others, aren’t also attracted to women of other body types.
The real question most Christian men are asking is, “Will she be who God made her to be?” “Will she care for the body God has given her?” “Will she be healthy and beautiful in her own skin?” And most of all, “Will she be beautiful in Christ so her beauty might be more than skin deep? Does she have a beauty which lasts?”
Beyond all of the outward trappings of beauty there is a richer, deeper, more valuable type of beauty, which far too many overlook in our sexually saturated, skin deep culture. Scripture tells us in Proverbs 31, “Charm is deceitful, beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.” True and lasting beauty is found in the woman whose heart belongs to the Lord.
One of my close friends once told me (after many years of marriage) he believed that perhaps the most attractive quality in a woman to be simple kindness. I believe he was onto something very transcendent and true. Beauty, inside and out, is not defined by slick marketing of companies selling beauty and sex on the tv or internet. Beauty is found in the person transformed to be who Christ created them to be…both inside and out.
Your husband or boyfriend thinks you are beautiful because of who you are and how you care for what God has given you…both on the inside and out. If you are transfixed on the image in the mirror and your dress size then you are selling both yourself and your significant other short! Do your hair, paint your nails, get a pedicure and be confident. Pray and be the sweet, kind, strong woman God made you to be in Him. Do these and your beauty will take his breath away!