In this week’s “Love Message to Wife” segment, we focus on another one of the “Love Languages” Gary Chapman covers in his book “The Five Love Languages.” Today, we look at how husbands might love their wives through “Acts of Service.” I have found this to be one of my wife’s love languages and come to the subject with a bit of personal experience. If you are a husband of a new or fairly new mother you will likely find this to be one of the big ways you can communicate love to your spouse as well.
“Acts of service” are things you can actually do to make your wife “feel” loved. It can be something as simple as vacuuming the floor or cutting the grass. For me there have been weekends when changing light bulbs and an air filter made my wife feel valued and appreciated. The real BIG item of importance here is to remember the act of service which makes your wife feel loved is one that is particular to her. Just doing “something” for your wife isn’t enough! It must be something she would appreciate or want for you to do for her. That said, in order to love your wife through “acts of service” you must:
- Listen to her needs — My wife loves a clean and orderly house, two things which are very difficult to maintain with two toddlers running around her feet all day. It doesn’t take a genius or a lot of “listening” on my part to know the things I can do to help her feel better about her house and loved by her husband. Taking the vacuum out of the closet on my day off and making the bed before I leave for work are two simple ways to love her through acts of service. I know these are things which speak love to HER.
- Stop the Lazy Train — Everyone is tired and all of us work hard but these are no excuse for NOT loving your wife just because doing so involves work on your part. Acts of service is a specific language which requires a little more work than spoken words or physical touch. There is a sacrifice involved here, one she WILL appreciate! Pray against any laziness which prevents you from extending love to your wife! Being tired is not an excuse!
- Go Above and Beyond — There are things you should do for yourself, wife and family that do not have anything to do with a love language. You SHOULD pick up your underwear off the bathroom floor, put your socks in the hamper and take your turn at changing the baby’s diapers. Doing these basic things may be appreciated by your wife but don’t expect to make her feel the love when you are simply doing the very basics of life that should be expected of any normal human being living in an American household. The real love happens when you go above and beyond. When you let your wife sleep in while you take care of the kids breakfast, etc on a Saturday morning. When you not only make the bed but fold the clothes she didn’t get to fold before falling asleep on the couch last night. When you let her sit down and relax while you do the dinner dishes. These are the real moments of love for one who receives such through “acts of service.”